Feeling the door wasn't easy
truth is always laid bare the last minute
voices and hands pulling you back
afraid yet willing to take the heat
Stubbornness is especially useful
when one wishes to let go of the hand
when every breath no longer counts
when it feels like a lifetime
just trying to take one step
fear and unease quickly mounts
reactions felt like rehearsed mimes
the image taunts, ridicules, haunts
Smelling the outside air was heavy
felt like ammonia and smelled like regret
keeping up makes one weary
past the doorknob, mat, wood and rivets
But right here is where I want to be
because the longer I stay
the less I'll be able to see
what I wish to know and wish to say
to roam, be in danger, be free
As I step outside the front door
the rustling of leaves signal my departure
hard as it is but necessary to do
hard and devastating for me and you
I look away and start walking
every piece of my soul withering
I couldn't help but start thinking
another time, another place
would have rendered us a different ending
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